I remember telling someone that I was the kind of busy where, when other people would tell me how busy they were, all I could think was "Are you kidding me? You have no idea what busy is!". I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I felt this way because I know how awful it sounds... and I also know that I'm not the only person with a lot on her plate... obviously...
I'm not the only mom who has taken on too much...
But in the thick of my work projects, fundraising, training, etc. PERSPECTIVE was hard to FEEL. All I could see were the days rolling one into the next, the time that I didn't have, the things that I wanted or needed to get done - that I didn't know where I would possibly fit them in.
(It just felt that way sometimes.)
It's now been two weeks since the crazyness at work has started to fade a little; and a week since my final fundraising event... and a couple of days "off" later, I'm finally starting to feel a little bit more like myself.
I want to cook again. For the past couple of months cooking has been a chore (forget a recipe... or attempting to try a new one... I think both Brandon and I were happy if we managed to get a decent and healthy meal on the table by 6 p.m. most evenings). The importance of meal planning became more obvious than ever. There were a couple of weeks where we hadn't planned specific meals and supper was often a last minute, thrown together... and altogether a not so fantastic affair (!)
My libido has returned. I know - too much information right? But seriously, I was starting to be concerned that there was something seriously wrong with me. For almost a month I was simply not interested. A couple of weeks ago I came to the realisation that I was just too physically exhausted and stressed. I threw it out there as an excuse with promises that things would get better once life slowed down a little. I didn't realise just how right I was. Fatigue and stress are not good for my sex life. Good to know. Time to make up for it ;-)
I'm enjoying simple things like you wouldn't believe. Taking a couple of hours to go to the hairdresser, eating breakfast with the family, watching the girls run around the yard with Brandon (on a beautiful fall day)... I even took the time to straighten my hair this week.... and it's not all that surprising that I feel much less overwhelmed by the loads of laundry to be done of the course of the weekend...
And I'm really hoping to start writing more regularly again. Despite the business and the extra work, the Fall has been a time of learning for me. Learning about myself, learning about what I'm good (and not good) at... learning to take a step back to gain a little perspective that isn't so wrapped up around my own belly button (sometimes this is the hardest lesson to learn... and re-learn...and re-learn!).