Last week I wrote about a little girl who is nearing the end of an ugly fight against cancer. Layla Grace. A random connection on twitter lead me to the website where her parents have been blogging about her progress. Her story has literally brought me to my knees, begging God for a (crazy/out of this world/impossible to believe...) miracle.
I've spent more time praying in the last week than I have in a long time. Pleading with Him, begging Him, trying to reason with Him... asking Him "Where are you?". I can't help but be a little surprised at myself for the persistence with which I bring this little girl and her family before Him.
Although I have been a Christian for a long time, I have a relatively conservative church background. Although I believe that God is real, although I believe that He cares about what we're going through here on earth - I don't remember ever praying for a miracle - I don't remember ever praying with such persistence - for anything. And it's not like I don't know sick people... it's not like I don't know other people in need... there's just something about this girl, something that keeps bringing me to prayer.
So why Layla Grace? Why does this little girl have me on my knees? I've been asking myself this question all week. As I've watched the awareness of her situation grow (10 000 + twitter followers added in less than a week, an interview with Ryan Seacrest, an articles by Choppra, stars like Paris Hilton spreading the word...) and as I've read some of the comments left by strangers - I have realized that I'm not alone. Of all the sick kids, of all the suffering families, there is something drawing people to Layla Grace. There is something about her story that is getting complete strangers (like me) to watch and pray. Is it a God thing? or not?
To be completely honest I don't know much (if anything) about praying for healing. It's not something that I have experienced first hand. I stumble over my choice of words and I wrestle with the idea that it might not be "God's will". Not His will? What does that even mean? I don't know how I will react if it seems like all these prayers simply go unanswered. Will my faith be shaken? Will I stop praying? or will I simply change my prayers... asking for understanding, asking for peace for the Marsh family?
For now I'll continue to pray for little Layla Grace every time she comes to my mind. I will pray for peace, strength and comfort for her entire family. But I will also continue to ask for that miracle. Maybe because it's the only thing I can do. Maybe because I really do believe that my prayers aren't just bouncing off the ceiling...
Miracles still happen... right?... please?